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What ever happened to Jack Handey?

By November 14, 2006Humor

Many of you may remember Jack Handey from the old Saturday Night Live days.  He was the guy who did ‘Deep Thoughts,’ which were hyper-wierd observations that were offered with the innocent patois of a Hallmark Greeting Card.  You never got to see Jack Handey.  You only heard his soothing voice as he said something like:

"If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason."

Every once in awhile I would wonder what happend to Jack Handey.  Then just the other day I came across this article he wrote for the New Yorker about his First Day in Hell.  The opening paragraph immediately drew me in:

My first day in Hell is drawing to a close.  They don’t really have a sunset here, but the  fires seem to dim a bit, and the screaming gets more subdued. Most of the demons are asleep now, their pointy tails curled up around them.  They look so innocent, it’s hard to believe that just a few hours ago they were raping and torturing us.

Go on, read the whole thing.  Maybe it will motivate you to start looking for salvation.

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  • Michael says:

    Sometime the truth hurts…because its so funny, my side aches.

  • Sophmom says:

    A master of deadpan.

  • A.R. Rhoads says:

    I just finished reading a compilation book of humor articles from the New Yorker over the years, some of them date back to the 30’s. The book is called “Fierce Pajamas” and includes a fair number of Jack Handey pieces, as well as classic Thurber, Woody Allen, and Garrison Keillor articles from the New Yorker over the years. Available at any fine bookseller.

  • Sarah says:

    Funny! I always assumed Jack Handey was the work of a SNL staff writer. My favorite Jack Handey quote …

    If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let ‘em go, because, man, they’re gone.

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