Opinionated Fools

By July 29, 2018 August 20th, 2018 apple, culture, humor, web-tech

You know the old saying…

It’s better to remain silent and be thought an idiot than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

Well social media is too great a temptation for opinionated fools.

Lets consider a real-world example…

Opening Scene

I was interested in getting a laptop stand for my MacBook Pro.

So I bopped over to Amazon and…

I quickly discovered this promising $39 option.

Seemed perfect for what I was looking to do.

It was supposed to be stable, good at cooling, and helped with clutter (as depicted below)

I was eager to click the “Buy Now” button.

But I decided to read some reviews, you know…

Just to see what some average user experiences were.

First I came upon the Question & Answer section.

An Opinionated Fool Speaks

The very first question was a gem…

Question: “how does this stand compare to say, putting the laptop on a brick or phone book to raise it up? why would i pay 35 dollars for this?”

Obviously, this person is a seething Vampire of Negativity.

Someone whose full-time job is spewing poison into the Internet.

But that alone doesn’t justify writing this blog post.

The beautiful moment happened because of…

A Clever Response

An Amazon customer named “S. Ramsey” felt obliged to respond…

Answer: “A brick is not wide enough, nor is it deep enough to give proper support. A phone book’s efficacy is dependent upon the city one sources it from. Some city’s phone books may be too high, some too low. As to why you would pay $35 for this; it’s my guess that you would not. This product is not a good fit for you.”

Pow! Bam! Wham! Zap! Boom!

That made me laugh out loud.

But then more people weighed in…

Answer #2: “What phone books are thinking of using? I collect phone books for a hobby. I have most years from all the major cities between 1970-2000 so I am really on the hunt for cool small towns. I am willing to buy this rain stand for you in exchange for the book(s).

Answer #3: “No one answered this seriously, so I’ll give it a shot.

Bricks will scratch the bottom of your laptop, will not draw away any heat, and will not create any cord management options, which this promises to do. Additionally, the angle of the screen created by the slant is better than what you will get with the bricks.

The phone book will smother your laptop, causing it to overheat (never place your laptop on soft things, like phone books – if you’re going to use a book, use old encyclopedias) because they will hold in the heat and raise the computer’s temperature.

Finally, 4 bricks — the number determined necessary to hold a 13-15″ Macbook Pro  — weigh more and are not nearly as stylish or easy to move as this stand.

However, bricks may match your decor more than this stand, and in that case, go for it.

Epilogue

I went ahead and ordered the laptop stand.

And I was still laughing when I clicked the “Buy Now” button.


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